I spent two weeks training my nanny. I paid for her to take a CPR class and get certified. I showed her all the ropes. And then after one full day of work, SHE QUIT! I won’t malign her in anyway. All I will say is apparently I have a powerful 6 month old who can drive off a nanny in one day!
So here I am, back at square 1. Going back to work has been put on hold for the time being. I’m overwhelmed at the idea of finding someone new to care for our kids. I spent months (literally) looking for a nanny. But beyond the time it took, it took a lot of emotional work to get to a place where I could take a leap of faith like that!
On the other side, I imagine we are a lot for a nanny to take on. You could definitely say we have serious baggage. It’s a lot of pressure to take care of our baby, knowing we lost our last baby. And I’ll admit, we’re a little psycho. We’re hyper paranoid and have rules that normal people don’t have. Normal people have their six month olds sleeping in a crib at regular nap times by themselves. Nap times are usually breaks for parents and caregivers. Not us. Naptime is when we lost Charlie. It’s a lot to ask someone to be hypervigilant like us. To figure out how to navigate being hypervigilant while also taking care of Hailee and getting stuff done around the house.
And yes, Cami is totally a momma’s girl. She will have a serious adjustment time warming up to someone new when she is around me all-day, everyday.
A task I need to embark on is to start having Cami sleep in a pack-n-play instead of her swing for naps. This will be step one. After she gets used to sleeping in a pack-n-play for naps, I’ll transition her to a crib (with breathing and video monitors) for her naps. Then I’ll do the emotional work necessary to let her sleep alone, in a quiet room (for naps; she’ll be sleeping in our room at night until she’s one!). I imagine Cami will sleep so much better and be even happier with that arrangement. Then maybe it’ll be easier for a nanny to want to work for us?
This is my first attempt at having Cami sleep in the pack-n-play. I’m experimenting with a new monitor Chad’s sister and brother-in-law got us for Christmas: Safe-to-Sleep. I like it better than the angel pad (which was recalled anyway) because it doesn’t just detect movement, it tells you how many breaths the baby is taking per minute and will alarm you if those breaths become less than 10 per minute. It also differentiates between no breathing and if the baby has rolled off the pad (important differences for a SIDS mom!). It also tells you temperature and if the baby is awake. The reviews on-line for this pad are mixed, but until the Owlet comes on the market (we’re supposed to be in the Beta testing group for the product), this seems like it will offer a lot of peace of mind.
Needless to say, Cami’s first nap on her back lasted about five minutes. But hey, it’s a start!