I have wondered since Charlie died, how often is he around us? I hope he visits often. Then after Cami’s birth I’ve wondered if he watches over his sisters? I pray each night that he does. I also wonder if Cami can see him when he is around?
We have a large photo of Charlie on our wall, about eight feet away from where I nurse Cami. When I burp Cami, it is not uncommon for her to look at his photo and just grin. And Cami doesn’t do that to other photos at all. Maybe it’s my imagination but her smile at Charlie is a smile of recognition and love.
The other night Hailee was sitting up on one of our bar stools and Cami was sitting in her bouncer close by. Suddenly, Hailee fell off the stool and landed right above Cami’s head on her bouncer! I mean Hailee was literally less than an inch away from landing on Cami’s head! Had that happened, it would’ve really hurt and injured Cami. Hailee’s landing position, where she just barely missed Cami, subsequently felt too perfect. Later that night as we were going to bed, I told Chad that I wondered if Charlie had somehow intervened and protected his sisters. Chad looked at me and said, “I thought the same thing.”
I don’t know how often Charlie is around or how he is involved in our life. But I believe he is and actually plays a very important role in our life. I look forward to one day learning all the ways he was involved. I imagine I’ll be surprised how much he really is around and influences us in a variety of ways. From simple ways, like making his sister smile, to more complex and profound ways I can’t even guess at. But until we are reunited and I get this knowledge, I am left to wonder…