36.5 weeks pregnant with our rainbow

IMG_3059It’s hard to believe that in a few days I will be Full Term! I still can’t fathom that the birth of our rainbow is imminent. But my body is doing a good job of reminding me. At this point in my pregnancy, I am having more frequent contractions. They can be quite uncomfortable and often wake me up at night. One day this last week they were so frequent and so uncomfortable, I didn’t dare brave commuting 50 minutes to work, just in case I actually went into labor.  Beyond the contractions, I’m just generally getting more uncomfortable. I have more heartburn when I lay down to sleep and my favorite (sarcasm) is the nightly restless legs syndrome that makes sleep evade me.

But honestly, I’m not complaining. I am SO grateful to be growing this rainbow and that she seems to be doing well. My weekly NST results are all positive so far. I am dilated to almost a 3 and am 70% effaced. This next week I am planning to start really preparing for her arrival. We will buy her car seat! We will figure out where she will sleep in our room (she’s gonna be sleeping in our room for awhile), we will decide on monitors, I want to buy her coming home outfit, we will start narrowing our name list down…maybe I’ll even venture to buy diapers.

I am feeling terrified and thrilled simultaneously. Her impending arrival brings up more memories of losing Charlie, which are painful to sit with. On the other hand, I am beginning to fantasize what it will be like to hold her, feed her, snuggle her, listen to her newborn noises, and love her. I am allowing myself to both continue to grieve Charlie and hope for her. It’s complicated, messy, and wonderful all at the same time.



7 thoughts on “36.5 weeks pregnant with our rainbow

  1. littleraskills

    I can’t believe you’re already almost full term! I am beyond excited for you guys. You look beautiful (as usual)! I am so so excited to be an Auntie to another one of your precious babies. 🙂

  2. Dianne

    You look amazing! And your hair is getting so long! I can’t wait to hold and snuggle your baby too. Bryce is even pretty excited too. Hope to see you soon!!!

  3. You DO look so beautiful. I am standing at this end of the journey of trying again and I’m putting myself in your place & can feel that anticipation & fear along with you. I pray for you constantly. The other day I was thinking about trying again & for a minute, got REALLY mad! I DON’T WANT to start the process all over again! I don’t WANT TO!
    Sigh… but oh… how I want to hold a tiny person in my arms again and kiss their cheeks and smell their hair. I can’t wait for that for you.
    Sending prayers that your labor and delivery is all that you are hoping and you are able to cherish that baby girl. Can’t wait to see pictures and find out her name!

  4. Susann Jarvis

    It’s more than exciting….that you’re going to have a new little girl…..and Charlie Angel will be with you all the time.

  5. Kelly

    Oh Anna, I am so happy for you!! You are continually in my thoughts and prayers. I can’t wait to see pictures! Love you!!! P.S. You look absolutely gorgeous!

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