A quilt in memory of Finleigh and Bridger

IMG_2844Last week I delivered this quilt to this angel mom. Staci has lost, not one, but two babies. I cry just thinking about the enormity of that loss. She lost her son Bridger over 4 years ago at 10 months old. Then she recently lost her daughter Finleigh just about two months ago at 18 days old. Both babies were born with congenital heart defects. To read more of their story, and see photos of these beautiful angels, check out Staci’s blog.

Staci and I met for lunch. I have to admit, I was a little nervous. I wondered if I had anything to offer her given all she has gone through and continues to go through. She has truly lived through every parents worst nightmare, not once, but twice. I felt so inadequate to offer her any semblance of comfort. At the same time I was also eager to meet another mom who gets it.

When we met, and began talking, I quickly realized that while both of our losses are different, they are also the same. We know what it feels like to continue living with a broken heart. To continue walking through a world that is shattered and forever altered. Staci and I immediately began commiserating about our experiences. It was refreshing to cut through all the superficial sentiments and delve  straight into the depths of our experiences.  We talked for two hours and could have talked for many more if other obligations didn’t pull us back into our daily lives. We told our stories and also talked about transformations, family, faith, hope, coping and continuing to survive.

I left feeling so grateful to have met her. I loved the experience of just meeting her and talking like we have been in each others’ lives for years. She has some amazing and beautiful perspectives on life and faith because of her losses and I hope to adopt some of them. I can also deeply connect with the pain and despair that is present as well. I hope she and I will continue to connect in the future.

I also had this fantasy in my head that our sweet babies in heaven knew we were getting together and in some way joined us that afternoon. It’s a thought that makes me smile.

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2 thoughts on “A quilt in memory of Finleigh and Bridger

  1. Tatiana Vopinek

    Hello Anna,

    I just want to express how THANKFUL I am for your blog! I lost my sweet angel princess Savannah on May 8, 2013. Although the complete autopsy hasn’t come back b/c they are waiting on blood work, the nice lady from the police department has told me no cause of death has been determined at this point and therefore our only “answer” is sids. I hate that answer b/c really it’s not an answer at all. I’m reading through all of your post in order, I’m currently on Nov 5, 2012. One of the last post you made was in regards to the trauma aspect. I so appreciated that post b/c the visions of that morning haunt me daily, they bring me to tears, make me angry and flat our have me questioning everything. Your story and time line has made me feel a lot less lonely. When the feeling of loneliness arise, I just go read more of your blog. As you journey is almost one year prior to mine, I get to go to you for support. I feel so strongly the need to connect with other sids moms, and you’ve made that possible for me as I feel connected to you and your family. My husband & I are currently discussing the idea of a “rainbow baby” as you call them. We have a son, who’ll be turning 3 in July…see how our stories mirror in a lot of ways 🙂 Anyway, the thought of a new baby makes me very excited and terrified at the same time. I look forward to see where your journey continues to take you and pray that you will continue to share it with me.

    Sending you a huge virtual hug, Tatiana Vopinek

  2. Zee

    Anna….you keep touching the lives of countless people because of your “Charlie Angel” experience…and through your ‘blogging’….your ongoing ‘waves’ of compassion on the ocean of humanity will continue onward forever.

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